Making it Count

"There aren't enough hours in the day." "Where does the time go?" How often have you found yourself asking these questions, and others like them? If you're anything like me, than your answer is probably, "Way too often!" Have you, like me, wondered, "How can I reclaim my time? How can I make it count for something bigger, better, more significant? Is there a way I can SLOW down and BREATHE and just BE?" There are many things that fill our days that we may not have a great deal of control over. But I set out on an adventure about 9 months ago to reclaim as many of the wasted, tired, frivolous moments in my days that I could. Ya know what I found? There are literally HOURS there for the taking. You heard me! Hours! And many of them may be found in a place you shudder to acknowledge... In the time we spend in front of the TELEVISION. It is a well-known fact that Americans, as a whole, spend far too much time in front of the television. I know, I know, you've heard it before. But TV is your "downtime," your time to "take a break!" It's the time you take for yourself to "relax" and "unwind from the day." I know! I can SO relate! The aforementioned adventure that began 9 months ago? Well, suffice it to say that the first 2 months of it were spent ignoring the little voice crying out what I already knew deep down inside; The time I spent in front of the television could be much better spent doing other things.
Those of you with kids would probably agree with me that being a parent makes you take a good, hard look at yourself; who you are, what you are modeling, what you hope to become. And you look at those little ones and realize all too vividly that these days we take for granted will be gone in a blink. And so the question begs to be answered. "Am I making these days count?" I want to squeeze as much joy, warmth, togetherness, fun, and sharing out of them as I can. And so it was that my TV Hiatus began. And let me just tell you, it showed me so much more that I ever anticipated!
I really don't think that I ever watched that much television to being with, but what I didn't realize was how much the TV was just "On." I never stopped to think about how I, in a way, relied on the "noise." And most importantly, I didn't realize how much I struggled with the sound of silence. And so, through the days and weeks and months that followed, I weaned myself from a companion that I didn't even know I relied on. At first it was hard. I replaced the noise of the TV with radio noise. Uplifting music and commentary from our local Family Life Network streamed through my computer or from our living room stereo almost constantly. I learned, the girls and I danced and sang, we worshiped together. And when Mike came home he joined us! It's been a lot of fun! Little by little, I've weaned us from the radio noise, and now, I turn it on only periodically. And ya know what? The silence has been liberating. The days seem a bit slower now, calmer, more peaceful. We spend most evenings around the kitchen table or on the living room floor, creating, playing, reading, talking, tickling, laughing, discussing. The girls don't even ask about turning on the TV anymore, and it rarely occurs to me. Every now and then, we'll all gather around it to watch something we all enjoy, but it is intentional rather than habitual now.
Our TV vacation has turned into something so much more than a vacation from noise. Having a quiet home has changed our way of life. It has helped to slow down our pace of life. It has allowed time for more reading! It has helped to make us more disciplined. And it has brought us closer together as family.

On the Bright Side

Is it spring yet? I've lived in WNY long enough to know better than to ask that question in February. But it has been a long winter! A long winter of sickness, cold, and inconvenient, ridiculous layers of outdoor clothing. We are in our second week of seclusion, it seems, due to an illness that appears to be Lysol-resistant. It just won't die. It won't! It has slowly made it's rounds and crept up on each unsuspecting member of the family. And it is bad. I could go into details. Lot's of ugly, grotesque detail, actually, but I'll be kind and refrain from my tirade.

Ya know what though? It is becoming increasingly apparent that life really is largely what you make of it. Illness has forced Mike into some much-needed and well-deserved time at home. (We girls are LOVING it.) Illness has provided ample opportunities for movie-watching, something we don't do nearly enough, and lot's o' cuddle time. Illness has allowed time for reading, personal growth, and interesting conversations. And illness has shown me yet another reason why I am so very proud to call my family my own... Despite our small house, (very small,) LOT'S of "together time," only one toilet, (eh-hem... a real issue during this particular illness,) Mom and Dad being down-for-the-count (literally) for a couple days, and two little girls with barking coughs and runny noses, we are still enjoying our time together. We worked together. We helped each other. We let things go that maybe otherwise we wouldn't have. And we stuck together. Mike even called it the "vacation" that I have been wishing for... I wouldn't go THAT far. But I'm glad we made the best of it.

A New Kind of Normal

I love this time of the evening... A few stray bubbles and wet duckies still mingle in the tub. The dishwasher hums a tune as it completes it's final cycle. Two different, soft lullabies billow from two darkened bedrooms. The teapot simmers and steams the announcement of one more day lived, enjoyed, cherished. And all is peaceful... Ah... The Christmas Season is upon us and I can scarcely believe that it has been just over 3 months since Laura started preschool. I remember like it was yesterday the feeling of loss and mourning I felt as I sent her off on this new journey, her first time out of the nest. Well, it seems that her little wings are strong and prepared for their journey. I smile each morning as we drive home and she chatters about the songs she's sung, the projects she's created, the friend she held hands with, and the story she listened to. She inquires about the weather and teaches us about the letter of the day. But most important to her, Laura must know how I spent MY morning. Every little detail of it. And I have to assure her that Celia and I did nothing fun without her! Ha ha. I have learned to appreciate these mornings when Laura is at school. I know that she is in a good place, with good people. She is growing and smiling and learning there. She is learning what it is to be her own, separate person; A person who can function and contribute and reason apart from her family. And while she is enjoying this new freedom, I nestle in at home with little Celia. I can see how beneficial this time is for her and I as we bond and read and talk and snuggle. Sometimes she takes a long nap and the morning is over before it began. Other days she is wide awake and she helps me dust or fold socks or vacuum. And she learns what it is to play with her toys without Big Sister. It still doesn't feel "right" to have Laura away from us, but the time flees quickly and I have learned to savor those moments when she is away and Celia is napping. I get to enjoy a cup of tea and attack those jobs more easily accomplished "sans enfants!" My God is a gracious God. He provides me with strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow. He knows my every thought and fear. He knows when I sit and when I rise. He replaces uneasiness with peace. And that hole where Laura used to be? He fills it with contentment and the promise of the beautiful things to come.

my motto for life

I have been agonizing over this "BLOG thing" for months now. What should I call it? What will I write? Who will care to read about what I write? But I keep coming back to one thing. Or, rather, many 'Little Things.' 'Little Things' fill our days, our weeks, our years, our lifetimes. It's my desire every day to notice the 'Little Things,' embrace them, and enjoy them. 'Little Things' are tickles from my girls, bubble hairdos in the bathtub, peanut butter fingerprints on my refrigerator. 'Little Things' are the smell of cupcakes in the oven, the first blossoms on the tomato plants in our garden, Mike's hand in mine as we sit on the patio after a busy day. I hope that this BLOG can serve as my memory bank for all the the 'Little Things' that so beautifully fill the moments in my days. I want so badly to burn them into my memory, into a place where I can retrieve them and smile about them one day when my life finds me in a new place. I don't know how interesting it will be for others to read these chronicles, but I think it will be invaluable to me. And maybe, just maybe, it might encourage and remind you to take time to Enjoy The Little Things in your life. We all have them. And they are our greatest gifts.

Time Marches On

I took Laura, my almost-four-year-old, to the dentist today. To my surprise, she hopped up when the hygienist called her name, and skipped off to the examining room without Mommy. For Laura, that was a big deal. She has been Mommy's shadow all of her short little life, and is often quite fearful of new situations. This was just the encouragement I needed as preschool quickly approaches. I have been nervous about the adjustment. How will she react when I drop her off? (How will I react?) Will she be scared? (Will I be able to hold back my tears?) Will she make new friends? (Will she be a leader or a follower?) Will she be OK? Of course she will. But as moms, we all want the best for our kids and it's hard to see them struggle. And I won't lie. It will be difficult for me, too. Difficult to say good-bye to my little buddy, my Laura who goes everywhere with me, works with me in the yard, assists on shopping adventures, chats non-stop... My girl who asks for daily cuddle breaks where we sit and snuggle and talk and read and rest. We've grown quite comfortable in this life of privacy and serenity where time seems to stand still. But it doesn't really. Time marches on. And I guess it's time to learn to find that new beat so we can march along, if ever so begrudgingly... Lord, please bless and protect and care for my girl where I cannot. May our bond grow ever-stronger as we spend more time apart. May my tears be cleansing and my words encouraging as we find our way. And thank you for the past 4 years... the best 4 years of my life.